about marriage/ travel & love

Dear Lu

Thanks for your first e-mail from Mexico.

I found shiny full moon today, when I practiced dance in the park next to the shrine, which I visit every evening.

Moved my body slowly, and breathed deeply with the moon. Then something flowed into my body, I felt. The area under the stomach and my mind was nicely waving.

I tried to improvise for a while, as transform the body empty so gradually, and again felt something flowed into my body gently.

The moon always seems to snuggle up to solitude warmly.

I chose to get married recently, as you said.

But, actually, I also had decided to be single for a while in similar reason as you, several years ago. Don’t give love for just one person, and get home in this way. This kind of “home” is just illusion between two, and it is quite fragile.

To be in solitude, as possible as I can. I wanted to start by keeping away from “home”, then danced hard as throwing myself at that time.

In 2011, there was a huge disaster caused by the earthquake and tsunami in north Japan.

I went to there in order to volunteer next year. But I have to say I just walked around these lands helplessly, to catch the voices and memories by people, dead people and lands. (Also there were so many voiceless voices, which doesn’t become voices).

Once I visited to the shrine on the hill (this place had been the shelter for many people at that time), I found the shrine man. He asked me “where are you from?” and slowly continued “Do you have children? Are you married?” He had seen so many people who lost their family by this disaster. I replied “No”, and then he gently said, “OK, the sadness you could image may be just one person’s size.” After that, he told me many stories.

Off cause, he should know there are many people who receive the sadness or pain without children or partner. But this is true that I cannot imagine the feelings of people who had to protect their partner or children but lost.

After this, I had started thinking to have partner, and live with the responsibility for another person’s life. But, don’t give my love for just one person, don’t settle down in this “home”, don't let go of solitude, and don't forget to be with other life include the living things in difficult situations.

This might be more difficult and important thing, if I want to go to the next phase in my life and dance, I thought.

(This is, off cause, just my present situation. Each person has their own theme and timing!)

Please let me write about “Love” here, little bit more.

I believe the love between two people is an illusion, and is close to trance. In this situation, our sense of time and space has easily transformed. I think it’s also close to the experience of dance and art, so there is no doubt to be interesting topic for me. But, I agree that it’s slightly different from general “Love”, as you said.

Now I’m thinking that Love is to be in the part of the flow (or cycle) of life as “to keep others alive, and to be kept alive by others”, quite naturally.

There is a phrase “unconditional love”. But I don’t believe “one-sidedly giving Love.” Also it must not be closed to humans only.

I feel we are in quite difficult period to be in natural cycle like this, in this human world.

In that sense, travel is so great opportunity (as you had been!!).

You could feel that “to be kept alive by a lot of strangers”. So many people have their own life in unknown land, unknown world. There are as many joys and pains as there are people.

Always update this kind of imagination, and naturally be with strangers with keeping your unwavering mind in any situation.

This is one way to grow Love, I believe now.

I also think that “get in couch with nature” and “create something (include dance and art)” are another way of it, but I stop writing here in this time.

It had been a long writing, but our exchange can be long or short. So please feel relax to replay:)

It’s getting colder these days, because winter has coming in Japan.

Many hags from Tokyo.

Ari